animals – Just Laugh

10 Creatures Ted Cruz Vows to Consume If Elected President

Scott Sevener — Mon, 02 May 2016 17:53:21 +0000

1. An Anaconda … to remind the world who the deadliest predator deep in the jungles of the Congo really is.

2. A Pink, Plastic Lawn Flamingo … to remind the world who the deadliest predator deep in the trailer parks of America really is.

3. President Obama’s Dog, Bo … to serve as the GOP’s last ceremonial jab at America’s Worst President Ever.

4. The Heart of An American Bald Eagle … to gain its courage or something.

5. A Bunch of Cartoon Animals Riding a Cartoon Train … to ensure that the kiddos don’t get too complacent.

6. Roughly 11,000 Carpenter Ants … nothing special about this one – just a hearty breakfast to start the day right.

7. A Majestic Bottlenose Dolphin … because he fucking hates them.

8. Bernie Sanders … to finally rid the world of socialism once and for all.

9. The Winged Serpent Known Throughout the Realm as Sorventh, Bringer of Death … for tax reform.

10. The Mighty Elephant Seal … because there can be only one.

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Alcoholic Lizard Vows Never Again

Scott Sevener — Sun, 20 Mar 2016 16:00:08 +0000

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Raccoon Attempts to Hide Murder Shovel in Local Dumpster

Scott Sevener — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 15:00:27 +0000

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FACT: The only thing funnier than a whale landing on a human…

Scott Sevener — Mon, 14 Sep 2015 22:34:30 +0000

…is a whale landing on two humans.

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Cat Actually Not Happy At All

Scott Sevener — Sat, 29 Aug 2015 16:00:50 +0000

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Goodnight, Sweet Scavenging Prince…

Scott Sevener — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 00:32:27 +0000

People in Toronto – and across Twitter at #DeadRaccoonTO – saw that unique, Canadian hospitality rise in mourning last week as an impromptu memorial sprung up in the streets after city workers took their time coming to pick up a dead raccoon.

Check out this link from Bored Panda for complete coverage of this inspiring tail…
http://www.boredpanda.com/dead-raccoon-memorial-shrine-mourning-deadraccoonto-toronto/

(via Bored Panda)

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New Species of Frog Deeply Regrets Being Discovered by Humans

Scott Sevener — Sat, 06 Jun 2015 16:00:41 +0000

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Gila Monster Looks Forward to One Day Devouring Humanity

Scott Sevener — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 15:30:33 +0000

NEW MEXICO (Just Laugh) – Skulking in secrecy in its desert hideout deep in the wastelands of the American southwest, the country’s only venomous lizard sat sunning itself in the early morn as it quietly plotted its nefarious life’s ambition of one day consuming all of humanity with its vicious, poisonous jaws.

“It’s going to be just spectacular,” the monster told us proudly as it casually licked at the air with its black, forked tongue. “Humans don’t really think much of our species because we live out here in the middle of nowhere, but mark my words – apathy will ultimately be your people’s downfall once the time of the gila monster is finally upon you.”

“As my brethren roam your streets, devouring your young like so many other mammals that we practice on here in the desert,” he continued with a noble arrogance, “it will only be once it is too late that humans will learn to respect us, or to fear us, for every time that we dine on avian eggs and desert mice, my fellow lizards we all dream of the succulent human flesh that will one day rain down upon us in an abundance that will keep us fed through the rest of eternity.”

“Nothing can save you from this fate of a thousand feasts – this vow you can take back with you to your two-legged friends with their spongy, delectable flesh and completely venom-free saliva…”

The fierce creature disappeared back into the shade of its burrow before specifying a particular time for its species’ impending invasion, thus making this waiting game all the more terrifying.

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How ridiculous does this bunny-ear-wearing dog look?

Scott Sevener — Mon, 23 Mar 2015 12:00:44 +0000

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What color is this pair of hippopotamuses?

Scott Sevener — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 13:00:22 +0000

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