holidays – Just Laugh https://justlaugh.com Your Source for Humor on the Internet... Fri, 14 Apr 2017 21:38:59 +0000 en-US hourly 1 42571922 A Brief History of Jesus and the Easter Bunny https://justlaugh.com/features/humor-columns/2017/brief-history-jesus-easter-bunny/ Fri, 14 Apr 2017 21:38:59 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=5447 For today’s service we turn to The Book of Scott, Patron Saint of Fart Jokes, chapter 4:14 – Funnious Bunnious, for this very special Easter edition of The Humor Column – paraphrased for your reading pleasure, and also to help keep you from falling asleep during church like you usually do… Everyone knows that you do it, Frank – you can’t snore like a goddamn buzzsaw during communion and not expect anyone to notice. Show a little respect! Of course, Easter is a big time for Christians because second only to getting Christmas presents and being born and whatnot, we know with great certainty that Jesus loved hunting for Easter eggs. For it’s been said that nothing put a smile on that kid’s face quite like hopping out of bed on Easter morning and scurrying down the hall to find that the Easter Bunny had paid a visit to God’s kingdom, hiding brightly colored eggs filled with chocolates and a giant Easter basket overflowing with goodies for young Jesus to find… Being an only child because his half brothers spent holidays with their mom, God tended to spoil Jesus something fierce because he was the kind of parent to love his boy through things instead of [...]

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]]> For today’s service we turn to The Book of Scott, Patron Saint of Fart Jokes, chapter 4:14 – Funnious Bunnious, for this very special Easter edition of The Humor Column – paraphrased for your reading pleasure, and also to help keep you from falling asleep during church like you usually do…

Everyone knows that you do it, Frank – you can’t snore like a goddamn buzzsaw during communion and not expect anyone to notice. Show a little respect!

Of course, Easter is a big time for Christians because second only to getting Christmas presents and being born and whatnot, we know with great certainty that Jesus loved hunting for Easter eggs. For it’s been said that nothing put a smile on that kid’s face quite like hopping out of bed on Easter morning and scurrying down the hall to find that the Easter Bunny had paid a visit to God’s kingdom, hiding brightly colored eggs filled with chocolates and a giant Easter basket overflowing with goodies for young Jesus to find…

Being an only child because his half brothers spent holidays with their mom, God tended to spoil Jesus something fierce because he was the kind of parent to love his boy through things instead of emotions. And that was perfectly fine with Jesus because it scored him all sorts of sweet presents like PlayStation games and Pokémon cards, and one year when he did particularly well on his report card, his father even let him get a bunny for Easter … though he quickly regretted it and turned the bunny into chocolate upon realizing just how much real bunnies poop all over the place!

Granted, it wasn’t all rainbows and jellybeans for Jesus growing up.

One not so good Friday, Jesus had a bit of a run in with some of the townsfolk and they roughed him up pretty bad, as angry mobs are wont to do. They forced him to wear this pointy hat and dragged him through the mud, and it really sucked the life out of poor Jesus … but as we all know, Jesus was never one to take a challenge laying down and only a few days later he was up and running again, some would even say filled with more life than ever.

Other years little Jesus faced similar hardships, like the one where his mother insisted on him wearing an Easter bonnet “just for a few photos” and then made him keep it on even longer because her sister was coming over and she thought it would be cute, despite looking absolutely ridiculous to anyone capable of free thought.

Still, he always looked forward to Easter dinner and had quite the fondness for lamb and roast ham, which kind of makes sense seeing that he was born in a barn and all. Jesus was sure to steer clear of the deviled eggs, though, as well as that weird green jelly thing with the fruit floating in it that everyone’s aunt always makes and then harasses everybody about never eating…

Yes, Easter was a magical time for young Jesus, filled with chocolate eggs and marshmallow peeps, and unnaturally pastel rabbits and Reese’s Pieces cleverly arranged in the shape of carrots, and if he was really lucky, some years Easter would fall in line on the calendar with spring break so he would get an extra long vacation from school culminating with presents and chocolate galore – can’t argue with that!

So this weekend while you’re hunting for those brightly colored eggs and dining on that glorious roast pig, take a moment to think of the little boy Jesus and the brief moment in time where he had a pet rabbit.

The good word is that he named him Sir Poops-a-Lot and fed him a diet of cream soda and jelly beans, but that – my sleepy churchgoers – is a tale for another day…

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]]> 5447 Tips for Surviving Thanksgiving Dinner, 2016 Edition https://justlaugh.com/features/humor-columns/2016/tips-surviving-thanksgiving-dinner-2016-edition/ Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:30:49 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=5227 Much like at Alice’s Restaurant, the cult classic folk ballad by Arlo Guthrie that seems to resurface on the radio every Thanksgiving on the ride over to Grandma’s house, this year it seems that “You can get anything you want” in America as well, assuming that what you wanted was a resurgence of that good, old-fashioned racism, sexism, and bigotry that promises to Make America Great Again after we somehow managed to … elect Donald Trump as our next president??? Seriously – the guy from The Apprentice. “You’re fired?” I guess it was a little catchier back when he was just sitting on a gold-encrusted throne in the boardroom of Trump Tower instead of the Oval Office where he’s likely to face challenges a little bigger than trying to make Bret Michaels and Omarosa get along, but hey, I’m sure everything will work out just fine, right?! Needless to say, with the country literally divided in half for pretty much the most significant election of our lifetime, that Thanksgiving dinner this year where we gather the family red and blue alike around the table in celebration of gratitude or some nonsense is likely to be just a wee bit intense in homes where the entire lot of them weren’t all collectively aboard the Trump Train… [...]

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]]> Much like at Alice’s Restaurant, the cult classic folk ballad by Arlo Guthrie that seems to resurface on the radio every Thanksgiving on the ride over to Grandma’s house, this year it seems that “You can get anything you want” in America as well, assuming that what you wanted was a resurgence of that good, old-fashioned racism, sexism, and bigotry that promises to Make America Great Again after we somehow managed to … elect Donald Trump as our next president???

Seriously – the guy from The Apprentice. “You’re fired?”

I guess it was a little catchier back when he was just sitting on a gold-encrusted throne in the boardroom of Trump Tower instead of the Oval Office where he’s likely to face challenges a little bigger than trying to make Bret Michaels and Omarosa get along, but hey, I’m sure everything will work out just fine, right?!

Needless to say, with the country literally divided in half for pretty much the most significant election of our lifetime, that Thanksgiving dinner this year where we gather the family red and blue alike around the table in celebration of gratitude or some nonsense is likely to be just a wee bit intense in homes where the entire lot of them weren’t all collectively aboard the Trump Train…

…with the railroad industry being one of the few that Donald Trump hasn’t declared bankruptcy in yet…

This humble list of suggestions I present to you in an attempt to make peace at dinner tables across America – at least until the family unbuckles their pants and falls asleep from overindulgence on turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie like our Founding Fathers intended.

  • Respect the political differences you have with your relatives by never looking them directly in the eye and muttering expletives under your breath when they’re just out of earshot.
  • Subtly work in the hashtag #TurkeyLivesMatter when you’re saying the family blessing.
  • Prepare a list of pre-approved discussion topics for the dinner table that everyone can enjoy, including subjects like “Wasn’t the turkey more moist last year?” and “Please tell me you bought more than one box of wine…”
  • Try not to bring up the fact that if the Indians had only built a 50-foot wall of solid concrete along the eastern seaboard, maybe none of this would’ve ever happened.
  • Refrain from calling your Aunt Meredith a xenophobic fascist – at least until after she passes the sweet potato casserole.
  • If you need to take a moment during your delicious Thanksgiving meal, feel free to weep silently into the cranberry sauce … nobody’s going to eat that stuff anyways.
  • Ixnay on the opular vote-pay.
  • Don’t throw food at your siblings for supporting Trump; throw food at them for chasing you around the backyard with the garden hose when you were seven.
  • Celebrate the commonalities associated with Thanksgiving that we can all appreciate – things like overeating and pumpkin pie and sitting on our butts while somebody else does the dishes!
  • And if nothing else, never underestimate the power of stuffing your ears full of mashed potatoes and chanting, “La la la – maybe the electors will still pick Hillary anyways…” over and over again until it’s time to go Black Friday shopping.

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]]> 5227 Ten Fun Facts About Frosty the Snowman https://justlaugh.com/features/2015/ten-fun-facts-about-frosty-the-snowman/ Fri, 11 Dec 2015 16:30:01 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4745 Frosty has no relation to Parson Brown, however he is an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. Unlike most other holiday favorites, if you were to light Frosty’s eyes on fire his entire head would melt clean off his body. Though his birth name is actually Edward Sinclair, his agent quickly suggested the stage name of Frosty the Snowman to be more appealing to the 4 to 7 year-old demographic. Frosty’s genitals range from non-existent to unnaturally ginormous, depending on the grade level of the person you ask. The same magic in the silk hat that brought Frosty to life is also said to have animated the Mona Lisa, the Statue of Liberty, and that huge Christmas tree they put up in the Rockefeller Center … now that was a weird Christmas! In many cultures, the idea of a creature made of snow and ice coming alive to chase little children around the park would be considered disturbing. Psychologists often use Frosty’s tale of self-loathing depression as a case study, suggesting that had the kids simply offered to play in the shade instead, his fear of melting could’ve been managed without subsequent medication. Frosty’s favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard. Nobody really knows what made Frosty have to hurry [...]

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]]>
  • Frosty has no relation to Parson Brown, however he is an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church.
  • Unlike most other holiday favorites, if you were to light Frosty’s eyes on fire his entire head would melt clean off his body.
  • Though his birth name is actually Edward Sinclair, his agent quickly suggested the stage name of Frosty the Snowman to be more appealing to the 4 to 7 year-old demographic.
  • Frosty’s genitals range from non-existent to unnaturally ginormous, depending on the grade level of the person you ask.
  • The same magic in the silk hat that brought Frosty to life is also said to have animated the Mona Lisa, the Statue of Liberty, and that huge Christmas tree they put up in the Rockefeller Center … now that was a weird Christmas!
  • In many cultures, the idea of a creature made of snow and ice coming alive to chase little children around the park would be considered disturbing.
  • Psychologists often use Frosty’s tale of self-loathing depression as a case study, suggesting that had the kids simply offered to play in the shade instead, his fear of melting could’ve been managed without subsequent medication.
  • Frosty’s favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard.
  • Nobody really knows what made Frosty have to hurry on his way at the end of the song, but chances are it was probably some obnoxious kids.
  • Frosty the Snowman is particularly concerned about the ongoing effects of climate change because as an animated manifestation comprised primarily of snow, rising global temperatures directly threaten his way of life as a snowman who requires a reliable system of seasons to prosper. Also, he’s got a lot of friends that are polar bears and they’re really getting fucked over with the whole thing, too.

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    ]]>     4745     The Greatest Gift of All Is Never Having Cold Balls. https://justlaugh.com/shorts/inspirational/2015/the-greatest-gift-of-all-is-never-having-cold-balls/ Thu, 10 Dec 2015 17:00:48 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4730 The post The Greatest Gift of All Is Never Having Cold Balls. appeared first on Just Laugh.

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    ]]>     4730     Who won Black Friday this year? https://justlaugh.com/reader-polls/2015/who-won-black-friday-this-year/ Mon, 30 Nov 2015 14:00:43 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4686 Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll.

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    ]]>     The post Who won Black Friday this year? appeared first on Just Laugh.

    ]]>     4686     Just Laugh’s Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving Dinner https://justlaugh.com/features/2015/just-laughs-guide-to-thanksgiving-dinner/ Thu, 26 Nov 2015 19:00:58 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4672 It’s a time to give thanks for air conditioning, flush toilets, and the blessing of spending an entire day with your family, albeit with everyone still glued to their respective mobile devices most likely envying other people who are very far away. Thanksgiving!!! Of course, just like any bar mitzvah, this turkey-laden holiday can be a minefield of indigestion and political dissent if one isn’t prepared with the kid gloves and iron stomach an event of this magnitude requires, but thankfully for you, we here at Just Laugh have put together this convenient, bulleted list of precisely what you need to remember in order to make it to Black Friday relatively unscathed and thus ready to shop until your dinner is properly digested… Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy – these are your tools to tolerate being around your extended family for an entire afternoon. Also, lots and lots of red wine. LOTS. When someone asks you to pass the rolls, just do it. No one needs your four-minute dissertation about the suffering of wheat farmers in Darfur every time that they need a stinking roll, Janet. Be sure to give thanks that you’re not a pilgrim because those guys had to make [...]

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    ]]>     It’s a time to give thanks for air conditioning, flush toilets, and the blessing of spending an entire day with your family, albeit with everyone still glued to their respective mobile devices most likely envying other people who are very far away. Thanksgiving!!!

    Of course, just like any bar mitzvah, this turkey-laden holiday can be a minefield of indigestion and political dissent if one isn’t prepared with the kid gloves and iron stomach an event of this magnitude requires, but thankfully for you, we here at Just Laugh have put together this convenient, bulleted list of precisely what you need to remember in order to make it to Black Friday relatively unscathed and thus ready to shop until your dinner is properly digested…

    • Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy – these are your tools to tolerate being around your extended family for an entire afternoon. Also, lots and lots of red wine. LOTS.
    • When someone asks you to pass the rolls, just do it. No one needs your four-minute dissertation about the suffering of wheat farmers in Darfur every time that they need a stinking roll, Janet.
    • Be sure to give thanks that you’re not a pilgrim because those guys had to make all of this food by hand! Also, something like 60% of them died of scurvy, which was probably also a bit of a downer around the holidays…
    • When setting the table, remember that forks go on the left and guns go on the right. Because this is America, damn it.
    • Much like WarGames, the only way to win a debate about politics at the dinner table is not to play. Or be willing to scald your opponent with hot gravy when your Republican uncle starts being ridiculous – either strategy is traditionally acceptable.
    • For the 800th time, why do we even bother buying cranberry sauce again???
    • It’s not actually the tryptophan in the turkey that makes you sleepy on Thanksgiving – it’s the fact that you just ate three days worth of food in the better part of an hour and still have the gall to say that you’re “holding back” to leave room for dessert.
    • If you don’t eat at least three pieces of assorted pies for dessert over the course of the evening, you’re an absolute monster who’s definitely not getting invited back for Christmas.

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    ]]>     4672     Other Ways That We’re Probably Ruining Christmas… https://justlaugh.com/features/2015/other-ways-that-were-probably-ruining-christmas/ Tue, 10 Nov 2015 22:12:09 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4575 So we’ve learned that apparently Jesus hates the new red cups that Starbucks recently debuted for the holidays – this much is certain. But while we’re on the subject, there are probably loads of other things that we’re all doing to screw up Christmas for the truly righteous, many of which we’ll never even know. But for the ones that we do, we might as well make a list so that we can maybe try to not do them in the future or something? I mean for next year, that is, because Christmas 2015 is most definitely ruined with the whole cup thing alone! Here’s what we want to avoid for Christmas 2016… Not equally scrutinizing the color choices for cups, napkins, and disposable cutlery at our nation’s other quick service dining establishments. Already putting up our Boxing Day decorations in the middle of November. Drawing little devil horns on our snow angels like this is some sort of game or something. Eating regular, old boring M&M’s when special holiday flavors like peppermint and gingerbread are only available for a limited time. Using the Lord’s name in vainly like it’s going out of style when we can’t find a parking spot at the mall. Humming [...]

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    ]]>     So we’ve learned that apparently Jesus hates the new red cups that Starbucks recently debuted for the holidays – this much is certain.

    But while we’re on the subject, there are probably loads of other things that we’re all doing to screw up Christmas for the truly righteous, many of which we’ll never even know. But for the ones that we do, we might as well make a list so that we can maybe try to not do them in the future or something?

    I mean for next year, that is, because Christmas 2015 is most definitely ruined with the whole cup thing alone! Here’s what we want to avoid for Christmas 2016…

    • Not equally scrutinizing the color choices for cups, napkins, and disposable cutlery at our nation’s other quick service dining establishments.
    • Already putting up our Boxing Day decorations in the middle of November.
    • Drawing little devil horns on our snow angels like this is some sort of game or something.
    • Eating regular, old boring M&M’s when special holiday flavors like peppermint and gingerbread are only available for a limited time.
    • Using the Lord’s name in vainly like it’s going out of style when we can’t find a parking spot at the mall.
    • Humming along to Frosty the Snowman instead of really taking the time to learn the message behind the song.
    • Insisting that even though it’s the wrong holiday, fish is still very much totally and unequivocally meat.
    • Continuing to put all of humanity’s faith in the magical wonder of Santa Claus instead of – you know, the other guy…

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    ]]>     4575     More Stores That Won’t Be Open on Thanksgiving… https://justlaugh.com/features/2015/more-stores-that-wont-be-open-on-thanksgiving/ Fri, 06 Nov 2015 16:00:28 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4512 In recent years consumers have watched with turkey-stuffed anticipation as retailers inched their Black Friday sales earlier and earlier until eventually Black Friday became Black Thursday, forcing employees to leave their families and pumpkin pies behind in order to facilitate crowds on the biggest shopping weekend of the year. And yet now as we near the 2015 holiday shopping season, big box retailers such as REI and Costco and Home Depot have announced plans to not be open on the Thanksgiving holiday itself, thus reversing the cycle and scoring a point for family values in the face of the almighty dollar. Already we’ve heard the names of dozens of other retailers that’ve jumped to add their names to the list of businesses bucking Scrooge’s money-grubbing trends – here are a few of the latest retailers that are guaranteed to not open their doors this year on Thanksgiving Day… 1. Borders Books Photo by Nicholas Eckhart / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0) 2. Kay-Bee Toys Photo by AdamL212 / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0) 3. Circuit City Photo by F33 / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0) 4. Linens ‘n Things Photo by Nicholas Eckhart / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0) 5. Tower Records Photo by Alan Light / Flickr [...]

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    ]]>     In recent years consumers have watched with turkey-stuffed anticipation as retailers inched their Black Friday sales earlier and earlier until eventually Black Friday became Black Thursday, forcing employees to leave their families and pumpkin pies behind in order to facilitate crowds on the biggest shopping weekend of the year.

    And yet now as we near the 2015 holiday shopping season, big box retailers such as REI and Costco and Home Depot have announced plans to not be open on the Thanksgiving holiday itself, thus reversing the cycle and scoring a point for family values in the face of the almighty dollar. Already we’ve heard the names of dozens of other retailers that’ve jumped to add their names to the list of businesses bucking Scrooge’s money-grubbing trends – here are a few of the latest retailers that are guaranteed to not open their doors this year on Thanksgiving Day…

    1. Borders Books

    20151106_thanks-borders_9330172883_023dd90e0f_kPhoto by Nicholas Eckhart / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0)

    2. Kay-Bee Toys

    20151106_thanks-kb_492107046_bb1c219f18_bPhoto by AdamL212 / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0)

    3. Circuit City

    20151106_thanks-ccity_3595004911_f7b67b9f39_bPhoto by F33 / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0)

    4. Linens ‘n Things

    20151106_thanks-linens_8341183462_939a814aa6_kPhoto by Nicholas Eckhart / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0)

    5. Tower Records

    20151106_thanks-tower_2034726801_a54f0fa23c_bPhoto by Alan Light / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0)

    6. Fashion Bug

    20151106_thanks-fashion_8992671997_d18a49cfd9_kPhoto by Nicholas Eckhart / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0)

    7. Media Play

    20151106_thanks-media_492094946_d65ededd06_bPhoto by AdamL212 / Flickr (Creative Commons 2.0)

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    ]]>     4512     Things With Eyes – Turkey Dinner https://justlaugh.com/features/comics/2015/things-with-eyes-turkey-dinner/ Thu, 05 Nov 2015 02:41:21 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4513 The post Things With Eyes – Turkey Dinner appeared first on Just Laugh.

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    ]]>     4513     Real Men Reluctantly Dress Up for Halloween https://justlaugh.com/features/humor-columns/2015/real-men-reluctantly-dress-up-for-halloween/ Fri, 23 Oct 2015 19:00:11 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4398 Few guys other than Johnny Depp can really pull off the pirate look, and I’m still pretty sure that even he goes through at least a bottle of rum a day just to ensure that he stays in character, if you know what I mean. So why was I recently sighted running around wearing a billowy shirt that revealed entirely too much chest hair and a pair of those poofy pirate pants that are noticeably absent of pockets for hauling around one’s pirate booty??? Because I’m a Dad now, and dressing up for Halloween with your kid is what you do… …or at least that’s what I was told by my wife … repeatedly … until she finally just ordered my costume for me and said, “You’re wearing it!” There was a time when I used to love getting dressed up for Halloween – I would go as a Ghostbuster or a giant M&M or the ever-paperclip-centric Bert from my beloved Sesame Street, and in those clever disguises I could roam the neighborhood completely unrecognizable as I gathered enough candy and sweets to last me until Santa came to visit! Of course, that pretty much ended when I turned 16 and got a job which even [...]

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    ]]>     Few guys other than Johnny Depp can really pull off the pirate look, and I’m still pretty sure that even he goes through at least a bottle of rum a day just to ensure that he stays in character, if you know what I mean.

    So why was I recently sighted running around wearing a billowy shirt that revealed entirely too much chest hair and a pair of those poofy pirate pants that are noticeably absent of pockets for hauling around one’s pirate booty???

    Because I’m a Dad now, and dressing up for Halloween with your kid is what you do…

    …or at least that’s what I was told by my wife … repeatedly … until she finally just ordered my costume for me and said, “You’re wearing it!”

    There was a time when I used to love getting dressed up for Halloween – I would go as a Ghostbuster or a giant M&M or the ever-paperclip-centric Bert from my beloved Sesame Street, and in those clever disguises I could roam the neighborhood completely unrecognizable as I gathered enough candy and sweets to last me until Santa came to visit! Of course, that pretty much ended when I turned 16 and got a job which even at minimum wage for sweeping floors provided me with more than enough to go to the store and basically buy whatever candy I wanted all by myself.

    One of the many spoilers of growing up is realizing that you can actually just buy things yourself instead of running around begging your neighbors to drop them into your pillow case in the middle of the night.

    But of course, with my own son being only one and a half, he doesn’t even eat candy just yet, and so instead the real incentive for him to enjoy Halloween is found in dressing up like one of his favorite characters and running around so that people can say, “Oh – look at the adorable, little pirate!” without them pinching the hell out of his cheeks for one month out of the year.

    In that right, I can’t hardly blame him … I’m not exactly a fan of getting my cheeks pinched, either, but when I realized that I couldn’t just be that parent who walks behind him, not dressed up like a pirate when for the most part I’m now a mature adult, needless to say I had some concerns, such as “What if I look ridiculous?” and “Seriously, how could I not look ridiculous wearing that?!”

    Or even heaven forbid, “What if I need to stop and get gas when I’m dressed up like that?!?!?!”

    Which in fact most definitely did happen, though without incident, leaving me wondering if pirate pants are more trendy and prominent in today’s society than I ever realized, but an even more significant revelation came later on that pirate-permeated evening when I surprisingly came to learn that despite feeling ridiculous in all of my pirate garb alongside the rest of my pirate family, in that very moment I was actually somehow bizarrely cooler than all of the guys walking around me not wearing pirate attire whom I had previously envied!

    Mind you, this kind of thing never happens to yours truly, and yet for a precious few hours I found myself magically transformed from ridiculous guy dressed as a pirate into “See, that guy dressed up for Halloween with his kid!”

    …which you probably wouldn’t think the random comments of complete strangers would be much of a motivator, but I spent the rest of the evening walking around as if I actually had consumed an entire bottle of rum … at least in spirit, mind you!

    The moral of this story is that although dressing up like a pirate will most certainly make you look ridiculous, it will totally gain you points with your wife and your kid and even complete strangers who happen to be married to other guys who are party-poopers with regards to wearing poofy pirate pants in public.

    …as long as we’re still talking about Halloween, mind you. The rest of the year, don’t push your luck!

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