hud – Just Laugh https://justlaugh.com Your Source for Humor on the Internet... Wed, 28 Feb 2018 01:12:48 +0000 en-US hourly 1 42571922 HUD Secretary Ben Carson Spends $1.2M on Gold Statue with Large Ears https://justlaugh.com/features/fake-news/2018/hud-secretary-ben-carson-spends-1-2m-gold-statue-large-ears/ Wed, 28 Feb 2018 01:03:07 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=5541 WASHINGTON, D.C. (Just Laugh) – On the heels of reporting that the Department of Housing and Urban Development spent some $31,000 on a dining room set for Secretary Ben Carson’s office after being pressured by his wife, Candy Carson, to find additional funds for redecorating to exceed the predetermined $5,000 cap, Just Laugh uncovered several additional extravagant line items in Carson’s expenditures that raise serious red flags about the state of the HUD’s budget… Such items include: (1) Gold Statue with Exceptionally Large Ears – $1.2M (36) Ornately Carved Onyx Tea Spoons – $57,000 (12) Copies of the 1997 Walt Disney Pictures Hit Air Bud on DVD – $125 (2) Tickets to See DJ Snake This Weekend at the Echostage – $80 “Everything in my department has a purpose,” Mr. Carson explained in his iconic monotonous, slumber-inducing voice, “and this beautiful, gold statue is no exception. It’s a reminder that we always need to be listening to the people – because the American people are golden.” “Besides, you can’t even buy a decent gold statue with large ears for less than $900,000 – everybody knows that.” Mr. Carson then casually put his feet up on the table to reveal a pair of exorbitant, gold slippers [...]

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]]> WASHINGTON, D.C. (Just Laugh) – On the heels of reporting that the Department of Housing and Urban Development spent some $31,000 on a dining room set for Secretary Ben Carson’s office after being pressured by his wife, Candy Carson, to find additional funds for redecorating to exceed the predetermined $5,000 cap, Just Laugh uncovered several additional extravagant line items in Carson’s expenditures that raise serious red flags about the state of the HUD’s budget…

Such items include:

  • (1) Gold Statue with Exceptionally Large Ears – $1.2M
  • (36) Ornately Carved Onyx Tea Spoons – $57,000
  • (12) Copies of the 1997 Walt Disney Pictures Hit Air Bud on DVD – $125
  • (2) Tickets to See DJ Snake This Weekend at the Echostage – $80

“Everything in my department has a purpose,” Mr. Carson explained in his iconic monotonous, slumber-inducing voice, “and this beautiful, gold statue is no exception. It’s a reminder that we always need to be listening to the people – because the American people are golden.”

“Besides, you can’t even buy a decent gold statue with large ears for less than $900,000 – everybody knows that.”

Mr. Carson then casually put his feet up on the table to reveal a pair of exorbitant, gold slippers upon his feet, to which he commented upon our noticing, “These beautiful, gold slippers are a reminder that it’s time for me to take a nap. It’s time for all of us to take a nap now…”

The post HUD Secretary Ben Carson Spends $1.2M on Gold Statue with Large Ears appeared first on Just Laugh.

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