slave labor – Just Laugh https://justlaugh.com Your Source for Humor on the Internet... Thu, 17 Dec 2015 21:00:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 42571922 WANTED: Really, Really Fast Working Elves https://justlaugh.com/shorts/help-wanted/2015/wanted-really-really-fast-working-elves/ Thu, 17 Dec 2015 21:00:11 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=4762 High profile employer seeks a team of seasoned toy makers for a last-minute job that he seriously should’ve started working on months ago, but for reasons involving Barbados and copious amounts of rum simply did not. …no judging… Elves should be eager to work at lightning-quick speeds non-stop for the next week without need for breaks, lunch, or a desire to see the light of day. Fast-paced environment filled with pressure as the weight of happiness of children around the world rests on your shoulders, so only motivated professionals need apply. Benefits include penguins, working in close proximity to Santa Claus himself, as well as access to Santa’s hidden rum stash after he leaves for his business trip on Christmas Eve. Those interested should come prepared with 100,000 toys pre-made for their interview and plan on not seeing their families for the next seven days should they get hired. This is a part-time, seasonal opening that pays a flat-rate upon completion and does not qualify for overtime pay or other benefits. Santa Claus and North Pole Ltd. aren’t nearly as efficient at this whole “making and delivering toys around the world”-thing as you would think…

The post WANTED: Really, Really Fast Working Elves appeared first on Just Laugh.

]]> High profile employer seeks a team of seasoned toy makers for a last-minute job that he seriously should’ve started working on months ago, but for reasons involving Barbados and copious amounts of rum simply did not.

…no judging…

Elves should be eager to work at lightning-quick speeds non-stop for the next week without need for breaks, lunch, or a desire to see the light of day.

Fast-paced environment filled with pressure as the weight of happiness of children around the world rests on your shoulders, so only motivated professionals need apply. Benefits include penguins, working in close proximity to Santa Claus himself, as well as access to Santa’s hidden rum stash after he leaves for his business trip on Christmas Eve.

Those interested should come prepared with 100,000 toys pre-made for their interview and plan on not seeing their families for the next seven days should they get hired.

This is a part-time, seasonal opening that pays a flat-rate upon completion and does not qualify for overtime pay or other benefits. Santa Claus and North Pole Ltd. aren’t nearly as efficient at this whole “making and delivering toys around the world”-thing as you would think…

The post WANTED: Really, Really Fast Working Elves appeared first on Just Laugh.

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