Mind you, not all of us have questions and often times these questions are demeaning or borderline disgusting, but for the sake of clarity in our newly unified nation of love and rainbows, Just Laugh would like to take a moment to answer a few of those questions in what could quite possible be our most important guide of this generation…

So the gays can marry now – what’s next?
Matching tuxes, gaudy wedding arrangements, and an open bar.

I don’t want to have to explain to my kids why two dudes are holding hands.
Ok. Not really a question, but dudes have been legally allowed to hold hands for quite some time now.

Am I going to be forced to participate in gay weddings?
Yes – just as before all American citizens were required to attend a minimum of two heterosexual weddings each year, that total has now been increased to three to include one homosexual wedding. Again, open bar, though…

Can I marry my dog?
Wait – what?! No – marriage still exists only between two consenting adults and licking peanut butter off of your balls does not count as consent for your dog any more than it does when another human being does it for you.

Will I be forced to bake cakes for gay weddings?
It depends – are you in the business of selling wedding cakes or is it some sort of bizarre judgmental bakery where you assess each of your customers’ worthiness before bestowing upon them your holy baked goods?

Does this mean that those awful gay pride parades will finally stop?
Doubtful, but you’re welcome to stay home huddled in the corner with your fingers in your ears if you think it will help.

I just think that our country is going to hell in a handbag…
Again, not a question, but I get it – being an American just isn’t the same if the guy standing next to you is afforded all of the same rights that you are. That said, there are still lots of countries where being gay is all out illegal – Iran, Algeria, Malaysia – so that might be something to think about…

Will my own marriage somehow be affected by gay marriage?
It could. Gay couples have been known to invite themselves into the bedrooms of heterosexual couples for periodic hazing, but it’s mostly just pillow fights and extended Glee marathons so you’ll probably be fine.

But isn’t GOD against gay marriage?!
That’s adorable.

Why can’t gay people just keep their lifestyles to themselves and leave me alone?
Now they can.

The post Just Laugh’s Guide to Gay Marriage appeared first on Just Laugh.

Now actual injustices aside, the go-to joke from this headline seemed to be – “What kind of a person caters pizza at their wedding, anyways?!”

And I’m here to tell you that after attending more than enough weddings myself, there are definitely couples who should consider serving pizza at their weddings instead of the carefully laid-out plans that they’ve documented in $19.95 wedding binders that they’ve purchased for the express purpose of “planning” what they intend to subject their guests to for the 2 – 4 hours of their lives that can never again be reclaimed.

I’ve been to a wedding that served french fries on the buffet line.

I’ve been to a wedding that was catered by Golden Corral … because apparently that’s a service they offer to bring their shitty buffet to you on the most important day of your life!

These are the people that pizza wedding catering was made for – not folks who are decent enough to serve a delightful array of canapes and Swedish meatballs that make sitting through their god-awful dedication of love remotely tolerable. For weddings that feature dishes of salmon and tilapia, braised beef tips and stuffed chicken marsala, pizza catering need not apply, but if you’re planning your shindig and find yourself seriously debating that $7.99/plate chicken parm food product, you’re the type of person who would be better off picking up a half dozen supremes at the local pizza joint and just calling it a day.

I don’t care if the bride’s favorite dish is Kraft Macaroni & Cheese just like Mom used to make or the couple has to eat ramen for the three months preceding their wedding to pay for the venue. There are some things that simply don’t belong at a wedding, and pizza catering was created by God himself to serve as an alternative to whatever other ridiculous food options the bride and groom … well, mostly the bride … thinks that she can get away with.

If shrimp and scallops are out of budget and assorted cheeses and rolled up deli meats are too high-class, skip unveiling the party sub for your main course and just order in delivery instead. As long as you’re not gay and trying to order from that place in Indiana, your guests will be much happier with pizza anyways…

The post Maybe Some Couples SHOULD Serve Pizza at Their Weddings!!! appeared first on Just Laugh.

The post The Parking Lot Is Full – Another Ray-Gun Wedding appeared first on Just Laugh.