lent – Just Laugh https://justlaugh.com Your Source for Humor on the Internet... Sun, 25 Feb 2018 23:36:41 +0000 en-US hourly 1 42571922 Just Laugh’s Guide to More Things You Should’ve Given Up for Lent https://justlaugh.com/features/2018/just-laughs-guide-things-shouldve-given-lent/ Sun, 25 Feb 2018 20:43:41 +0000 http://www.justlaugh.com/?p=5521 You’re already two weeks late for lent. I know that, you know that, but God? He’s actually surprisingly lax about the whole thing, so better late than never when it comes to giving up stuff that you love for the Lord, am I right?! Not sure about what you love enough to give up for this solemn religious observance in the Christian liturgical calendar? Once again we’ve put together a fantastic assortment of baubles and whatsits for your personal sacrifice to your otherwise deeply personal religious beliefs. If you’re feeling extra-righteous, pick a couple of them to give up and boy, is Jesus going to be impressed! Five really small fish arranged ever so particularly on a brass plate. Podcasts. Collusion. Collard greens. Colanders. Cookie Monster Fan Fiction. The first 1/3 of the categories listed on PornHub – Amateur through Double Penetration. Pocket Lint. Your brother Clint. That dated parody song you’ve been working on – Too Legit to Lent. Stupid meetings at work. Toenail clippings. Leftover Halloween candy. At least three of the Ten Commandments – your pick. Not using your turn signals like a goddamned maniac. Pickle juice. Juicing (i.e. drugs). Bounce houses (if over 39″ tall). If you’re over 39″ tall, that is – [...]

The post Just Laugh’s Guide to More Things You Should’ve Given Up for Lent appeared first on Just Laugh.

]]> You’re already two weeks late for lent.

I know that, you know that, but God? He’s actually surprisingly lax about the whole thing, so better late than never when it comes to giving up stuff that you love for the Lord, am I right?!

Not sure about what you love enough to give up for this solemn religious observance in the Christian liturgical calendar? Once again we’ve put together a fantastic assortment of baubles and whatsits for your personal sacrifice to your otherwise deeply personal religious beliefs.

If you’re feeling extra-righteous, pick a couple of them to give up and boy, is Jesus going to be impressed!

  • Five really small fish arranged ever so particularly on a brass plate.
  • Podcasts.
  • Collusion.
  • Collard greens.
  • Colanders.
  • Cookie Monster Fan Fiction.
  • The first 1/3 of the categories listed on PornHub – Amateur through Double Penetration.
  • Pocket Lint.
  • Your brother Clint.
  • That dated parody song you’ve been working on – Too Legit to Lent.
  • Stupid meetings at work.
  • Toenail clippings.
  • Leftover Halloween candy.
  • At least three of the Ten Commandments – your pick.
  • Not using your turn signals like a goddamned maniac.
  • Pickle juice.
  • Juicing (i.e. drugs).
  • Bounce houses (if over 39″ tall).
  • If you’re over 39″ tall, that is – 39″ would be a very small bounce house.
  • #TinyBounceHouse
  • Peace on Earth, goodwill towards men.
  • Peanut shells.
  • Sexual harassment.
  • Commenting on things on the Internet without reading them first.
  • General personality-induced douchery.
  • Bragging about the size of your nuclear button on Twitter.

The post Just Laugh’s Guide to More Things You Should’ve Given Up for Lent appeared first on Just Laugh.

]]> 5521 Boy Cleverly Gives Up Broccoli for Lent https://justlaugh.com/features/fake-news/2015/boy-cleverly-gives-up-broccoli-for-lent/ Wed, 18 Feb 2015 16:47:38 +0000 http://test3.justlaugh.com/?p=1825 Charlottesville, VA (Just Laugh) – In an unexpected power play as his family prepared to enter into the Christian tradition of fasting for Lent, Timothy Arnold announced proudly when asked what he would be giving up for the next 40 days preceding Easter and the resurrection of their Lord that he would be giving up broccoli, widely known throughout the Arnold family to be his least favorite vegetable of all-time. “I just want to show how much I love Jesus…” Arnold pleaded passionately as he fought back a subtle grin of satisfaction that his mother could detect from across the room. When asked for comment about the devious move by her child, his mother Camille Arnold simply replied, “I’ll give him this one – no broccoli for the next 40 days – but if he actually loves it so much to give it up for Lent, then he’s really going to love what he finds in his Easter basket when this is all over…”

The post Boy Cleverly Gives Up Broccoli for Lent appeared first on Just Laugh.

]]> Charlottesville, VA (Just Laugh) – In an unexpected power play as his family prepared to enter into the Christian tradition of fasting for Lent, Timothy Arnold announced proudly when asked what he would be giving up for the next 40 days preceding Easter and the resurrection of their Lord that he would be giving up broccoli, widely known throughout the Arnold family to be his least favorite vegetable of all-time.

“I just want to show how much I love Jesus…” Arnold pleaded passionately as he fought back a subtle grin of satisfaction that his mother could detect from across the room.

When asked for comment about the devious move by her child, his mother Camille Arnold simply replied, “I’ll give him this one – no broccoli for the next 40 days – but if he actually loves it so much to give it up for Lent, then he’s really going to love what he finds in his Easter basket when this is all over…”

The post Boy Cleverly Gives Up Broccoli for Lent appeared first on Just Laugh.

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