• Gives middle-class Americans the opportunity to experience paying higher taxes just like rich people, but without all of the pesky wealth.
• Morale booster for billionaires in positions of great power who would like to give back to their most valued billionaire employees.
• If you like your Tax Preparer, you can keep your Tax Preparer.
• Temporary distraction from all of the other ways that Trump Administration is systematically destroying America.
• Perfect for citizens who hate math and have no idea how their taxes are calculated today.

Cons…

• Tax dollars pay for stuff that we need and we’ll have much less of it as a result.
• Makes doing things like saving for retirement and donating to charity for the tax deductions kind of pointless.
• Still won’t stop most people from complaining about their taxes.
• Rich get richer, poor get poorer, etc, etc…
• Incentivizes future billionaire presidents to also never release their tax returns by reinforcing the enthusiasm of delusional middle America.

The post Pros and Cons of Trump’s Tax Plan appeared first on Just Laugh.

“For starters,” cited Texas senator Ted Cruz, “two hours is a really long time and my belly got all rumbly halfway through. I’m just saying that a light snack – maybe a small plate of warm cookies and a glass of milk – would’ve helped to keep me and my fellow patriots going strong. And maybe a short nap afterwards, too.”

“I for one didn’t like how mean-toned the moderators spoke to us,” responded Dr. Ben Carson. “You know, as my old Mammy used to say, you’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, which is why I’d like to see some of our nation’s finest kindergarten teachers take to the stage to ask us questions at the next debate, using only low, soothing voices much like mine that will likely put the audience to sleep…”

“You wanna know what *I* hated?!” shouted a boisterous Donald Trump two candidates before he was asked. “All of these gosh-darned gotcha questions – they don’t ask Hillary or what’s-his-face those things! In my kind of debate – a debate for winners – every question would have simple, short answers … true or false, multiple choice … and if we have to flip through the book to look one up here or there, what’s the big deal?! We’re not on trial here – we just want to be President!”

Further feedback from the disheartened candidates suggested that the audience at future debates consist only of their peers to ensure that they’re surrounded by the lobbyists, campaign donors, and media puppets who the candidates all know really love and care about them the most. It has also been suggested that the debates themselves may or may not actually be televised at all, instead relying on each candidate’s press releases afterwards to disseminate the results so as to not put any undue pressure on the politicians as they compete for the office of leader of the free world.

The post Milk & Cookies, Naptime Proposed to Ease Future GOP Debates appeared first on Just Laugh.

Let me repeat that.

Of all the Republican Presidential candidates, Donald the Hairpiece Trump is currently the most popular candidate.

FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

And granted, I think that we can all agree that he’s also by far the most craziest candidate, but maybe that’s what you need to stand out in this crazy, gay-marrying, majestic-lion-hunting, McDonald’s-serving-breakfast-all-day-y’ing world we live in today! Thankfully, if the name of the game is to out crazy Donald Trump, then we’re just the folks to ask for some ideas that each of the candidates can use to make themselves stand out here in 2015…

• Jeb Bush – Announce transition to Jen Bush, as most spell checkers suggest when typing his name anyways.
• Chris Christie – Eat one donut for each GOP Presidential Candidate who’s thrown their hat into the ring so far, otherwise known to Chris Christie simply as eating breakfast.
• Dr. Ben Carson – Pull off his rubber mask and dramatically reveal that he’s really just Herman Cain in disguise.
• Rand Paul – Also change his name to Jen Bush, or Roger Paul, or Bernie Cleaver, or whatever, because Rand sounds like the name of a cyborg, not an actual human being.
• Ted Cruz – Just don’t talk.
• Mike Huckabee – Cage fight to the death with his buddy Chuck Norris.
• Rick Perry – Try wearing a slightly larger hat.
• Marco Rubio – Make all of his public appearances with a bald eagle perched on his shoulder, but never acknowledge it at all.
• Scott Walker – Conduct his usual day buried up to his neck in Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
• Rick Santorum – Attend one of Dan Savage’s crazy, gay sex orgies and just admit it already.

The post Crazy Conservative Spotlight appeared first on Just Laugh.

“I may not have the skills, or the charisma, or the common sense required to become the next President of these United States,” Cruz spoke reverently with one hand on his heart and a single tear streaming from his eye, “however I hereby pledge to follow in the great footsteps of those men who’ve come before me – men such as Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum – as I stand before you here today promising to spend millions upon millions of dollars of other people’s money to ultimately lose this election to politicians who are far more qualified and reasonable than myself.”

“The road ahead of us is long and inarguably paved in failure,” Cruz articulated, “but together we can ensure that in 2016 the Office of the President goes to somebody – really, anybody other than me – who can rightfully lead our nation into all that tomorrow has to offer.”

The post Sen. Ted Cruz Announces Plans to Lose 2016 Presidential Election appeared first on Just Laugh.

Iran Offers to Mediate Talks Between Republicans and Obama

He said that his nation was the “logical choice” to jumpstart negotiations between Obama and the Republicans because “it has become clear that both sides currently talk more to Iran than to each other.”

(via The New Yorker)

The post Iran to Offer a Helping Hand? appeared first on Just Laugh.