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If You Had to Vote for President Today…

Features - November 3, 2015

Today is Election Day in America! …and if it was already 2016, some of you might actually care about that… But it’s not, so nobody will, but let’s just say that it was for the sake of at least thinking about actually electing somebody today. If you had to step into that little booth and punch holes in a manner that will serve to shape our democracy for the next four years, what would you do? What would you do??? I’d vote for Hillary Clinton because I, [...]

WANTED: Really, Really Fast Working Elves

High profile employer seeks a team of seasoned toy makers for a last-minute job that he seriously should’ve started working on months ago, but for reasons involving [...]
The Greatest Gift of All Is Never Having Cold Balls.
Be the Merry Christmas you want to see on your coffee cup…
WANTED: Shopping Gimp
Autumn is…

Elf on a Shelf is a Creepy Murderer and You Know It

He’s a miniature elf who runs around your house playing pranks all December under the guise of spying on your kids. Every night while they’re sleeping, he flies [...]
Stop Sullying the Name of Fake News!!!
A Writer Dreams of a Post-Trump World…
I’m Just Here to Pee
Does America Have a Hard-On for Handguns?

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