Dumb Americans Terrified of President’s Proposal for Even More People Smarter Than Them
AMERICA (Just Laugh) – After hearing of President Obama’s latest proposal urging for tuition-free community college, dumb Americans took to the streets to share their fears of the plans’ attempt to create even more people who are more intellectually advanced than they are in this great country that they love almost as much as NASCAR itself.
“I didn’t git no free colege and I turnd out jut fine,” cited Bill Wilson of Bumfuck, Arkansas. “Bee sides – whooz gunna pay fer all of dat free schulz?! He ain’t raisin my taxes – this ain’t communist Russia!”
“…yet…”
When suggested that easier access to higher education could help improve the quality of life for Americans across the board by raising the nation’s standards for education and working to create a more highly skilled workforce to drive economic growth, lifetime Fuckall, Tennessee resident Hillary Gicks simply shook her head and laughed between sips from the jug of moonshine in her hands, “That Obummer just wants to ruin evrythung here in ‘Merica that makes uz great.”
“If yu wanna go to colege – that’z fine. If yoo wants to makez moonshine outta yur bathing tub – that’z fine, too.”
“But I’mma not let no commie socalist Presudent raise my taxes to pays for it all!”