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Just Laugh’s Guide to Being a Tick

© risto0 / Dollar Photo Club

Summertime is a great time to be a tick!

School is out and people are flocking to your neck of the woods with their sweaty, delicious flesh ripe for the pickings, so there’s no time like the present for diving headfirst into that human smorgasbord and chowing down like Uncle Lester at the family’s annual summer picnic.

Here are some tick tips that we’ve put together to help make this summer’s feast your bloodiest brunch ever…

  • With family outings at the beach and even some who dare to stay the night, state parks offer a great variety of dining options to satisfy everyone eager tastebuds!
  • Hikers like to think that they’re all smart with their bug sprays and their tall socks, but they often forget that ticks are expert tree climbers, too – if at first you don’t succeed, try dive bombing ’em from above.
  • Toddlers are like the veal of humans – a definite thirst quencher on a hot summer’s day.
  • Don’t be afraid to hop from human to human until you find a flavor you really like. You’d be shocked to know what some of these things put in their bodies, so when you’re looking to build a family yourself the last thing you need is to be putting garbage in!
  • Luckily, many humans even once you get them outdoors are mostly a sedentary bunch, so don’t put in more work than you have to chasing them down – it’s only a matter of time before they stop for a break or a nap, and that’s when you make your move.
  • Don’t be too quick to brush off their furry companions, either! Though dogs and cats are often times more mobile and alert than their human owners, their fur makes for a great hiding place … plus, you get a free ride out of it, too!!!

Whether you’re the kind of tick that has the same thing for dinner every single night or maybe you like to change things up with the flavor of the week, there’s really no time like summertime for the blood-sucking parasites that you are to really get out there and enjoy preying off your unsuspecting hosts like never before!

This is your summer, now go suck the best of it!!! 🙂

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.