Humor Blog Highlights

Just Laugh’s Guide to the Last Day of School

© Monkey Business / Dollar Photo Club

Kids and teachers alike have been waiting for this day all year long … parents, maybe not so much … but for the next three months, tough kibble because the kids are now officially out of school and the world is their oyster and now on top of going to work every day and not burning the office down, you’ve got to worry about keeping the rugrats out of jail for the entire summer, too…

But fear not, because parenting is easy when they’re not your kids to deal with, so consider this list of ways to entertain your spawn this summer our gift to you in exchange for continuing to read our hilarious posts when you’re hiding in the bathroom from your boss at work!

  • Parents of dumb kids, you’re in luck because unlike all of the kids who care enough about their education to cheat on their tests, yours get to look forward to summer school while their friends are out partying and getting stoned down by the watering hole. Whew!
  • For parents of kids actually smart enough to move on to the next grade level, wipe that smile off their faces with some strategically placed copies of books four or five grades higher than them with a few hints of what they have to look forward to next year to get the old anxiety train a-rolling…
  • Kids are going to come home from school on their last day excited and filled with energy for the amazing summer to come, so remember that it’s your job as their parents to crush any such hopefulness with a wide variety of chores and undesirable jobs to keep them busy all summer long.
  • Got a kid who couldn’t get enough of their favorite teacher during the year? Put ’em to work “interning” for Mr. McMurphy at the real estate office where he works on the side to keep the kid out of your hair and teach them a valuable life lesson about how teachers don’t really get the summers off after all.
  • There’s nothing better than a nice, relaxing day at the beach. Send the kids over to a friend’s house and treat yourself – you’ve earned it!
  • If your kids are older to where they don’t need adult supervision every day, take solace in the fact that they don’t listen to anything that you say anyways and don’t waste your time trying to keep them entertained over the summer. They’ll figure it out, and by “it” we mean sex, and by “out” we mean they’ll be having tons of it while you’re busy at work. But don’t worry – teenage sex is usually awkward and generally awful, anyways…
  • Much like kids do with advent calendars leading up to Christmas Day, start one yourself around August and fill that sucker with school supplies to gently remind your children that their summer of fun will soon be coming to an end.
  • And last but not least, be sure to use this day to recognize your children’s achievements as they move up another level in the pantheon of their educational journey. Next year they’ll be faced with a whole new set of challenges with a whole new set of teachers who you’ll be apologizing to once a semester. Really, it’s a journey that parent and child walk down together, so take this day to celebrate that you’re one step closer to that stupid journey being over and them finally being out on their own…
About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.