Stats of the Union
© Tomasz Zajda / Dollar Photo Club
- # of times Fox News will spin being a good public speaker into a bad thing – 37
- # of times Joe Biden will get nudged awake despite already being awake – 3
- # of times John Boehner will look, act, or in any way resemble an actual human being – 0
- # of times President Obama will internally sigh and wonder if it’s too late to just be President of Kenya instead – 1.5
- % of American economy derived from hair care products for Donald Trump – 4.7%
- Price of a gallon of gas in 2015 if your car happened to run on Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup – $23.79
- # of Presidents who would support the Keystone Pipeline if instead it delivered Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup – 1
- # of people that Ted Cruz will beg to listen to him before, during, and after the Address – 432,000 (est.)
- # of Americans who will be pissed that their favorite TV shows got preempted for the State of the Union address – 67 million
- # of Americans who will root through their DVR or go to bed early to avoid watching the State of the Union address – 66.9 million