Humor Blog Highlights

Animals That Make Lousy Pets

© Cathy Keifer / Dollar Photo Club

You can tell a lot about a person by the type of pets that they keep, but not every animal in existence would make a good pet.

Just follow this list and you’ll be better off…

20160412_badpets-raccoons_1690700© Pix by Marti / Dollar Photo Club

Raccoons
It’d be fine if you could adopt just one raccoon, but that’s impossible because raccoons only exist in groups of three or more on account of their nocturnal heists being specifically orchestrated for threes. Raccoons are nothing more than common criminals and if you invite one into your home thinking that you can change him, you’re likely to wake up at 2am to find him and his buddies carrying that new flatscreen of yours out the back door. Steer clear!

20160412_badpets-shark_4143226© FlyFishka / Dollar Photo Club

Sharks
Just look at those beady eyes … ’nuff said.

20160412_badpets-sweaters_73440300© Patryk Kosmider / Dollar Photo Club

Anything Wearing a Sweater
Let’s be clear – animals don’t choose to wear these things on their own. They don’t get their friends together and spend afternoons at the mall playing fashion show. Aside from maybe kangaroos, most animals don’t even have anywhere that they could carry a wallet with the money needed to buy a sweater. Humans do this to animals, so if you’re the type of person who might get themselves a pet and then subsequently dress them in some type of miniature clothing based on the things that you wear as a human, just don’t.

20160412_badpets-snake_31120365© photoroman / Depositphotos

The Largest Snake in the World
Seriously, what are you supposed to do with a snake that’s almost 30 feet long??? Everyone knows that the max length that you really want in a pet snake is, like, 15 – 18 feet – tops…

20160412_badpets-cat_72649529© Светлана Валуйская / Dollar Photo Club

A Refrigerator Cat
All of the elite, obnoxiousness of having a cat, but without even an ounce of cuddliness because all he does is hang out in the refrigerator all day long – if you want somebody to eat all of your food and generally be passive aggressive to you constantly, just get yourself a roommate instead.

20160412_badpets-trump_322465715© a katz / Shutterstock.com

Donald Trump
Too many people find themselves bringing home a Donald Trump without fully understanding the tremendous upkeep that a billionaire celebrity requires. No question, it seems like it would be fun to style his hair and play with him in the board room, but when he starts talking – and he always does – the mess he’ll leave behind for you to clean up is just yuuuuge…

20160412_badpets-demonic_65040432© Hektor2 / Dollar Photo Club

Some Sort of Demonic Creature with Creepy, Red Eyes
And the eyes aren’t even the worst of it because you just know that it’ll keep you up half the night with its various rituals to summon its co-conspirators back from the depths of hell. The rituals never stop with demons…

20160412_badpets-bunny_106685233

A Bunny
Have you ever tried cleaning bunny shit out of carpet?

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.