It’s that time again, Christians!
No, not Easter, so put away your bonnets and chocolate covered crosses for now, as well as one other item that fills your life with personal enjoyment because a little suffering never hurt nobody, am I right?!
It may not be quite as bad as walking for 40 days and nights through the desert without things like food and water and a nice, floppy hat to help keep the sun out of your eyes, but it’s cool – Jesus knows how much you love your Playstation and he appreciates your sacrifice nonetheless. 😉
Need some help coming up with ideas for things to give up in the name of crazy religious rituals leading up to chocolate bunny celebrations? Just try any of these excellent Lent Day sacrifices on for size…
- Instagram filters.
- Frivolous trips to flavor town.
- Arguing with strangers on the Internet about how much of a pompous ass Donald Trump is.
- Forehead cleanliness.
- Watching foreign films with the subtitles turned off.
- Harvesting belly button lint for fun and profit.
- The L-word.
- The other L-word.
- You know which word I’m talking about.
- Pronouncing Google as Googly which is admittedly a lot more fun.
- Chicken pot pies.
- Shouting obscenities at the neighbor’s cat.
- Internet searches with SafeSearch turned off.
- Mid-afternoon stretches.
- Keeping an eye on your children when they play around the pool.
- Waxing poetically about the love in your life that has been all but lost forever.
- Farts – both discretionary and good intentioned.
- NBC’s newest hit drama, This Is Us.
- Pretending to care about your older sister’s dance recital.
- Doing your best at your own dance recital.
- Dancing, Safety.
- Eating that cracker thing during Sunday mass.
- Writing potentially blasphemous jokes about Lent, during Lent.