Ground-Breaking Discovery: “It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity…”
GRAND RAPIDS, Mi. (Just Laugh) – Most of us will contend that it has been an unusually warm summer, but up until now, scientists weren’t able to pin-point the exact reasoning behind these unusually high temperatures. Little did Professor Liam McCallister know that twenty years of intensive research would quickly put to rest after a casual conversation in his neighborhood grocery store…
“There I was, waiting patiently for the cashier to check me out – a gallon of milk and a couple of burritos for dinner that night. The burritos just weren’t ringing up correctly, so the cashier had made the call for a price check – no big deal,” McCallister explained. “The cashier, Tom, tries to make a little small-talk to kill some time and mentioned something about the weather that we had been having lately. I didn’t mention my research, as it tends to confuse most folks, but I agreed that it was pretty toasty outside and went back to reading the various tabloids. It was then that I heard her voice…”
She was a tiny old lady – must’ve been pushing 75 years old. She had a bottle of cheap whiskey clutched in one hand and a carton of cigarettes in the other, and as she attempted to speak, I could tell that it had been a life-long habit, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity…”
I just nodded and pretended to ignore her, but my mind raced with both excitement and disappointment…she was right. I’d been focusing my studies for years and years on weather patterns and climatic changes, yet some old lady who was only moments away from the afterlife summed it up in nine words. I was on the verge of a breakdown, but then another voice broke my concentration…
“That’ll be $3.24 – would you like to drive up?”
