BAGHDAD (Just Laugh) – On the verge of liberation, many Iraqis are having trouble deciding if liberation is the answer. This goes back to a press conference held by President Bush.
“Once liberated, Iraqis will feel what it’s like to live in a democracy. They will be treated like Americans and have the same rights that Americans have,” said Bush as he was trying to keep up with which camera had the red light on.
The people of Iraq, however, interpret this message differently.
“What we hear is, once we find jobs, we will be laid off. Once our CEOs embezzle millions of dollars, they will get off with no penalty. And once we walk into gas stations and convenience stores, we will be greeted by white men instead of Middle Easterns. It’s too much to handle,” commented Abib ala Oxen Free, who just got denied for a Discover card and blamed his nationality as the reason.
White House officials disagree with this rational. People don’t get denied for Discover cards because they have foreign names. They get denied job promotions because of their foreign names, according to Condoleezza Rice, whose name sounds like a dish at Taco Bell.
After hearing this logic, Iraqis rejoiced and had extramarital affairs with their new secretaries. Aside from that, they filed bankruptcy and bought SUVs.