Humor Blog Highlights

“Prison Bitch” Prospect Deters Former File Swappers

LOS ANGELES (Just Laugh) – Though threats of legal prosecution have previously fallen on the deaf ears of some millions of computer users that continue to share copyrighted music files online, a new campaign was recently introduced over the weekend which is both turning heads and finally convincing many to see the wrong in their actions.

Appearing on such popular mainstream media outlets as VH1 and MTV, along with several online services including America Online and Prodigy, a new series of “persuasive advertisements” produced in a partnership between the RIAA and various concerned recording artists depicts the brutal truths about prison life and the severity of doing things that piss off those who have a lot more money than you do.

Short clips with such titles as “Rest in peace, my sweet pirate…” and “Who’s the bitch now?!” display for viewers an uncensored visualization of what truly happens behind the walls of most prisons and penitentiaries. It was known from the beginning that most violators would never be able to afford the massive fines involved with their illegal trading, but the resulting consequences were never made completely clear, until now.

Even more blunt messages have been created for late night and premium cable channels, sporting terrifying names like “You’ll have to bathe sometime…” and “Is stealing my music really worth the violation of your cornhole?” thus establishing an abrupt and unpolished ultimatum that, one way or another, the piracy of music over the Internet is going to be brought to a halt.

After witnessing firsthand several of these new commercials on their favorite cable music station, Jane Roper, a sophomore at the University of California, commented, “Well sure, it’s kind of disturbing, but I guess these kids are just getting what they’ve got coming to them. They can’t expect to break the law forever – eventually somebody was bound to get busted…” Her roommate, who requested anonymity for this report, remained glued to her Grape iMac throughout the interview, oblivious to the fact that she would be spending the following weekend in a less than compromising position at nearby Orange County Penitentiary.

A spokesman for the RIAA told us only that, “…it’s about time that these college punks realize just who they’re dealing with. This isn’t high school anymore, where you can steal the dorky kid’s lunch money day after day and get away with it; this is the real world, and although you may still be able to beat our dorky kids up, they’ve got enough money now that it doesn’t really matter anymore…”

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.