Humor Blog Highlights

Burger King to Burn the Shit Out of Its Whopper Buns for a Limited Time Only

© Burger King

MIAMI (Just Laugh) – In a rare announcement from the ordinarily creepy hamburger royalty, the King of Burgers himself recently unveiled new plans to offer his signature Whopper featuring a sesame seed bun that has inexplicably been completely burnt all to shit as somehow part of a special seasonal promotional effort.

“We’ve learned a lot about our customers over the years,” explained Burger King Chief Marketing Officer Eric Hirschhorn, “and contrary to what you might believe, Burger King customers really don’t mind if we char our product to an unrecognizable, black tar before serving it to them with a side of onion rings.”

“This year we’ve just decided to take it to the next level and serve up every last one of our Whoppers in this repulsive, seasonal black vestments instead of only the 85% of burnt food that normally comes out of our kitchens across America.”

Eager to take advantage of Burger King’s unquestionable consumer insight, Wendy’s is already rumored to be ramping up its own limited time offerings to include a Frosty spray-painted black and a baked potato covered in cat hair.

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.