Humor Blog Highlights

Nothing Like a Good Night’s Rest

I’ve never been one to complain about my mattress. But the one I have isn’t doing a very good job. Every morning when I wake up, my back seems to be stiff. I believe it has something to do with my bed because I feel I’m healthy and I sleep enough hours.

I’ve tried other mattresses and the same result occurs. In the morning, my back is stiff. Well, that recently changed.

One time, at a recent visit to my brother’s house, I was given my nephew’s bed to sleep on. And wouldn’t you believe it, it was the best night of rest I’ve ever had.

In the morning, I checked the tag on the mattress to see what brand it was. Funny, it was the same one I sleep on at home. But one thing was different. Buried under the mattress was an abundant supply of nudie magazines. I was amazed, nudie mags equate to a good night’s rest.

I told my brother about the discovery and he thought I was crazy. I told him I’d prove it. Unfortunately, telling my brother this information got my nephew in trouble. He had accumulated these dirty magazines for some time now. But he understood, I think.

So what I think is happening with young boys is the true reason why they hide dirty magazines under their mattress, is not because they’re afraid their parents might find out, it’s because they really give you a good night’s rest. I mean, look at me, it worked for my back. The only problem is, I now have an unbelievable addiction to porn. But I feel this is more bearable than having back pain.

Since the discovery of the nudie mags under my nephew’s mattress, he has been grounded until further notice. The one thing that really bothers him is, now he complains of having back pain. I think this is something to look into.

About Jason Tanamor (44 Posts from 2001 - 2003)
The writings of Jason Tanamor display obvious influence from many very different stylings, all the way from the wackiness and off-the-wall concepts of Dave Barry to the detailed analysis of a young and hip Jerry Seinfeld.