Radio Conglomerates Agree to Play at Least One Taylor Swift Song On Air at All Times

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NASHVILLE (Just Laugh) – Facing pressure from the 25 year-old blonde’s ever-growing media empire, radio station consortiums in major markets around the country have reportedly agreed to demands by Swift’s publishers to have at least one of the pop all-star’s Top 40 hits playing on their collective of radio stations at any given moment in time in every market across the United States, thus ensuring listeners the ability to tune in to their favorite Taylor Swift songs over and over, and over and over again, regardless of the time of day or otherwise prescheduled programming.

“People love Taylor Swift, and several of them out there haven’t bought her latest album yet,” explained Big Machine Records founder Scott Borchetta, “so to help give those consumers access to all of the Taylor that they want, we’ve reached this agreement that honestly is good for everybody who owns a radio.”

“Our goal,” Borchetta continued, “is simply that whenever someone gets into their car anywhere, they should be able to turn on the radio and find themselves a catchy Taylor Swift tune to rock out to on the way to Pilates or maybe Jamba Juice or whatever.”

“Listeners shouldn’t have to wait one, two, or even two songs and a commercial to hear the Taylor Swift hits that they’re really after. And now they won’t have to, just like if they had bought the album themselves, or downloaded them via iTunes, or kidnapped Taylor and held her captive in the backseat of their cars.”